Parents Smoking next to children

Recently I was over at Yahoo answers answering a question for a concerned parent about her husband smoking next to their 14 year old step son. Here's the story and my reply.

Dad smoking cigars w/ 14 y.o son?
I am wondering what other people think about a situation. We know that my step son whom is 14 that we are raising has smoked cigarettes for a couple years now. Recently my husband whom smokes cigars has began to smoke with him outside of course...I think that it is wrong and it is encouraging my son to smoke more. My son's counsellor does not really approve of it, but told me to leave this one alone because my husband and my step son are having some much needed bonding time out side when they do this. My step son will not stop smoking anyways, but I just think it is wrong. What do you think?

My Answer was like this:


Yes, indeed a tough one. It has always been the parents jobs to be a role model for their children.

A 14 year old does not necessarily know the real consequences of smoking and if he did then he surely is not paying any attention to it's consequences in later life.We all know smoking does not kill you straight away but in time it will do the damage. In this situation the husband should be told (by you ofcourse or by some other authority with respect) not to smoke in the presence of the child by setting an example for the child. This would be the best choice for both the father and the child and ofcourse you as well who is also a passive smoker if your husband smokes near you.

We learn from others by duplicating their behaviours and using them as role models. The job here is for your husband to start realizing that smoking is unhelathy and the best time to end the addiction.

This is a moment and a chance for your husband to kick the habit by hitting 3 birds with one stone.As I said you're the 3rd smoker in the sense that you probably smoke passively.

Goodluck with your life and emphasize to your husband that he needs to realize the responsibilities of being a parent. The feelings of being a parent are much greater than the feeling one gets from smoking. Greater good awaits your family.Cheers.